Thursday, January 9, 2014

When the going gets tough..

This past week has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I'm about to dive in & tell you why.. Just know this will most definitely be a tear jerker... 

Rewind to last Thursday.. 
My sweet, sweet grandparents (Granny & Poppy) were at Braum's for dinner just down the street from their house. Now keep in mind.. they're grandparents. My granny is 69 years old, while my poppy is 81. 
My poppy has had some health problems probably his whole life and with age it just doesn't get better. He has parkinson's disease which causes him to have these sudden jolts of movement. 
As they're leaving Braum's that evening.. poppy was getting in the car.. he had a sudden jolt due to Parkinson's and he fell and broke his femur.
Some of you might ask, "Did he break his femur & then fall? Sometimes that's what happens to older folks." No. He literally fell & his leg went back behind him & broke his femur.
So my poor granny can't help him up obviously so the ambulance is called. 

Friday, they talk to the doctor and he said they HAVE to do surgery to fix this. This is a high risk surgery & the X-rays don't show exactly how bad it is so there is two options of to how this surgery will take place. 
My poppy had his knee replaced about two years ago & he just so happened to break his femur that was connected to his knee replacement. 
Thankfully, Saturday morning he just needed the femur to be placed back into his knee rather than having another knee replacement... Shorter time under anesthetics etc.. 
That is until he never woke up...

My granny never left his side. 
My granny is and always has been a bad ass. She's by far the strongest woman I've ever met. She raised three boys as a single mother & did everything in her right mind to make sure they were taken care of. She settled for a shitty husband and was never truly happy. (Poppy wasn't always her husband.) When her ex husband passed away, granny was single for probably 5 years or so. 
My granny has always known my poppy. He used to own a bar/club in OKC and she was a cocktail waitress for him. He always told her, "I've loved you since the day I met you.." & I have no doubt in my mind that he was right.
You see, my poppy also settled into a marriage. He wasn't REALLY happy. He was content, as was granny. When Poppy's wife died, he had rekindled an old flame with my granny & let me tell you... I've never seen that woman happier in the past 7 years than I have in my entire life. 
(Poppy probably saying "Hey Mama! Give me a squeeze!")

Since my poppy never woke up, we did more tests to see as to if he was in a coma or had a heart attack or a stoke. We just wanted to know what was up. Sunday & Monday they ran all these tests... My poppy was brain dead.... 
Apparently during the surgery, he lost just enough blood to decrease the amount of blood flow to his brain, he also lost oxygen to his brain. Thus resulting in no brain activity.

I have never ever ever seen my granny cry, until this weekend. There is nothing more painful than seeing someone you love so deeply and is such a bad ass cry her eyes out asking everyone if she can go with him to Heaven. Even just describing it doesn't do justice.

This weekend hasn't just brought me closer to family... it's also taught me about love.
Almost everyone I am close to has settled for someone. & I don't want that. I want a love like my Granny & Poppy.
I want to be respected and cherished and I deserve nothing but the best. ( As does everyone )
& I've decided if I have to wait forever to find that... then I'll wait forever.
No more settling.
The love my grandparents had for each other is spectacular & I hope one day I find my own. 

Poppy, I will always be extremely grateful for not only the love you have shown me, but the love you have shown my entire family. We wouldn't be the same without you.
You were our saving grace.
Do me a favor & save me a squeeze for when I see you again.
I love you.


  1. Oh my gosh. This post tugged at my heart. What a beautiful bittersweet story. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending prayers, thoughts and hugs your way!! Sounds like your poppy was quite the amazing man!!

    1. Thank you so much. It means more to my family and me than you know. He was quite the sweetheart. We were very blessed to have him in our lives.

  2. What a beautiful post! I'm so sorry for your loss, he sounds like he was a very wonderful man. And that was very Ryan Gosling of him to tell your Granny that he loved her since the day he met her! They have a good and proper love story :)