Monday, January 27, 2014

Never Settle.

As some of you have figured out, about a little over a month ago I became a single lady. It's completely different than anything I've ever been used to considering I had a relationship from 16-now. Dont get me wrong, I was sad. But this past month I've realized & learned so much more about myself than I have the past 3 1/2-4 years. It's incredible how much one can grow in such a short time. 

Anyways with that being said, one of my girlfriends from college sent me this AWESOME (emphasize the awesomeness) little book. It was incredible. & I'd love to share it with you gals. 
This certain book is a total of five pages I believe. It's short & sweet. But its exactly what I needed to hear.

 It's called "My Little Book of Whether or Not He's Worth It" compiled by Brittany Bailey. A guideline as seen by one girl who read "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
(For some reason I can't share the book, so I'll just type what they say.. Credits have been issued)

"It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less-even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less-than you would have ever imagined. Ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. If you can't do it for you, do it for everyone else: [Good-for-nothing] guys are able to exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to." -Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You. Pg. 49


A man who makes me feel so excited, I can't stop myself from wanting more.

A man who doesn't keep me guessing about his feelings and what he wants.

A man who pursues me.

A man who sees me as the bright spot in his day.

A man who means it when he calls me baby.

A man who will forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about me.

A man who does what he says he's going to do.

A man who doesn't make me feel anxious, uneasy, or worse by being in a relationship with him than I did being alone. 

A man who makes an effort to be a peacemaker and bring harmony to fights & disagreements.

A man who is not afraid of commitment and proud to call me his.

A man who makes being around him feel natural and easy.

A man who doesn't suppress his feelings to look cool or appear uninvolved.

A man who never keeps me in the dark.

A man who never would do anything to compromise the integrity of our relationship, or get anywhere close.

A man who can respectfully discuss issues without manipulation or losing his temper.

A man who is strong and tough, but not a "bad boy".

A man who doesn't make me feel ashamed, needy or "unliberated" for wanting marriage and a family.

A man with whom a relationship would bring me closer to my aspirations for the future.

A man who makes me feel comfortable enough to bring up sensitive topics.

A man who loves me enough to marry me in every time zone if that's what I wanted.

A man who doesn't need forever to realize I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him.

A man who would move mountains to keep me. 

A man who doesn't like to be without me, instead of just not wanting to be alone. 

A man who allows me to love freely, without restrictions.

A man who doesn't have to heal in the relationship, but has already taken care of his past.

A man who makes it clear in his everyday actions that my happiness is important to him.

A man who makes a constant attempt to love the people I hold dear, and especially my family. 

A man who does not engage in any activity to an extent in which I feel uncomfortable. 

A man who understands that there is no reason to yell at anyone ever, unless for safety reasons.

A man who treats me just as perfectly in public and around his friends as he does when we're alone. 

A man who treats me better than I feel I deserve.

A man who never belittles me to feel superior.

A man who goes out of his way to make sure I know my worth is infinite, that I'm smart, valuable, and deserving of everything I've ever wanted.

A man who hungers for information about me and doesn't spend our time solely talking about himself.

A man who has the ability and desire to provide.

A man who doesn't make me feel like eI have to give up anything which I find to be essential for making life enjoyable.

A man who honors the woman I am and have the potential to become. 

A man who will always want to protect me from things that frighten me.

A man who is nice to me all the time and who is clearly a good, kind, loving person.

A man who makes me hope that my sisters and best friends can find someone like him.

A man who believes in love the verb, not the noun. 

I will only date & marry a man who's love is profound, life-changing, healthy, uplifting, joyous, inspiring, and intoxicating, because I deserve a wonderfully fulfilling life. "
Brittany Bailey,

I know, I know. Kind of a longish read. Yes, my hands somewhat hurt from all the typing, but I'll blame it on the ridiculous coldness that's been going on here in Oklahoma. Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains right.....? (Insert sarcasm here..)

When my dear friend, Sarah, sent me this I cried. It wasn't because I was sad or anything to do with sadness. I cried because this little book is 100% right. & because I have friends who love me enough to share these things with me. I have been blessed by the people in my life & I thank God for bringing them to me. This book spoke to me, especially for just recently coming into the single lifestyle. 
Ladies, never settle for anything less than butterflies. 
Know your worth. 
When she shared this with me, I knew that I had made a good decision by becoming single. 
Let me tell you, love is blind. You have no clue what's happening until you're out & are looking back.
Truth be told, Momma's always right.. As much as I hate to admit that! Haha. 

I hope one day, when I have a daughter of my own that she will read & live by this little book. 

With that being said, I hope you all have a great rest of the week & got through Monday with no bumps! 

xo- Desirae


  1. Great post. Never settle!! It may take a little longer to find him but he's out there looking for you! I've nominated you for Liebster Award--> check it out here!